the bluest eyes

right smack in the middle of socializing at various barbecues, parties, and weddings there have been a few times recently where i have felt as if i want to close my eyes, slap my hands over my ears and press down really hard to block out the bla-bla-bla sound of what i'm hearing.

it's like i'm getting a migraine—i want to silence the world of obnoxious talk any way i can to help settle my head and to make the flow of annoying words stop.

but the strange thing is, i'm not getting a migraine; i'm not overwhelmed by headache pain. in fact i am remarkably headache free, although perhaps i feel a smidgen nauseous.

it's true that my ears seem to be ringing and my head feels full of something. i don't have a name for that something yet, but maybe by the time i get to the end of unburdening my soul (i.e. complaining, i.e. ranting), i will have come up with one.

i'm not by nature a complainer and i don't like to listen to complainers. but today i'm going against all that: i'm going to indulge in a little rant.

lately i seem to be having the misfortune of running into, and getting into "conversations" with—that is, if they can even be called conversations—a particular type of person. i don't mean to appear impatient, frazzled or peeved—yet, honestly, i'm all of those—but what i have been listening to makes me want to do more than block my ears. i want to do something out of character for someone as calm and peaceful and even-tempered as i am, like, maybe, s.c.r.e.a.m.

what i'm hearing that makes me want to act in a mildly disturbing manner is similar to what we all read in yearbooks and think nothing of, you know, superlatives—the best athlete, the most improved hockey player, the most likely to succeed, the funniest person, the person with the biggest smile, the most studious, the most musical, the most artistic. or conversational superlatives such as the best cook, the most beautiful baby, the greatest voice, the bluest eyes, the most talented son.....

"my grandson is the most well-behaved child i have ever met."

"that was the best book i have ever read."

"my daughter is the best mother, better than i ever was."

are some people just prone to speaking in annoying superlatives, and am i only now noticing this tendency, or is this a new phenomenon?

whatever the case may be, i have unfortunately bumped into these types of talkers recently; that is something else the superlative people have in common—they are the biggest talkers. not only are they big talkers, they also tend to talk exclusively about themselves and the people they know in addition to managing to heave a superlative into every other sentence. what's with that? braggers, the lot of them. why won't they just shut up already?

these are the most boring, most self-absorbed people in the world.

i am going mad with superlatives.

get me out of here fast.....

.....faster.....

.....fastest.

sorry.