Saturday, May 21, 2011

grocery shopping

the grocery store is, in a way, like a museum. it houses an impressive modern collection, albeit a perishable one, of food. it exhibits an array which boggles the mind with its infinite variety, color, form and texture; it contains a collection you can taste. (tell me, how many museums can make that claim?)

and, as you will see if you make it to the end of these scribbles, the grocery store offers a collection that speaks to you.

a few of the basic groceries i buy (and politely share with my husband), foods that are my sustenance, are things like tea, pomegranate juice, when pigs fly bread, apples, bananas, fresh pasta, skim milk, cheese, fresh fish, fresh veggies like zucchini, broccoli, baby spinach, tomatoes, greek yogurt and chocolate. and some wine. and some vodka (tastes good with the pomegranate juice).

the last time i was in the grocery store purchasing these items i decided to get a headache along with my groceries. that's not a typo; i'm serious. i thought i would pick an aisle that, to me, has the most variety of a single food item in it, and see if i could possibly take in all the colors and words and razzle-dazzle; make sense of the offerings, you know? i knew in advance an aisle like that would make me feel a little dizzy, a little giddy, a little nauseous, and i would experience a slight headache from all the stimuli.

can you guess what aisle i picked?

the one that is so packed with choices it almost mocks you? i dare you to pick just one box....

the cereal aisle.

for adults maybe these shelves don't pose a problem (except the headache part). but if you have kids with you.....

lucky charms and trix. kix. apple jacks, cocoa pebbles, golden grahams, froot loops (the spellchecker didn't like that one). reece's puffs (isn't reeses candy?), cinnamon toast crunch, frosted flakes.

also granola, raisin bran, special k, smart start, fiber one, bran flakes. i think these are supposed to be the healthy ones.

not only can you get cereal here, you can also be entertained. there are special messages just for you written all over the boxes. the cereal is desperately calling out with insistent exclamation marks! stop, look (and listen!). i did. here is a tiny sampling of what i saw:

save on pampers! (yum!)

no sugar or salt added! (tastes like the box it's packaged in.)

with natural and artificial flavors! (i would hate to have one without the other!)

crispy, glazed, crunchy, sweet! (all on, and maybe even in, one cereal box. if you ever need an adjective, forget the thesaurus. just visit the cereal section.)

rocks your whole mouth! declares a very bold box.

america's #1 source of wholegrain! (in all 50 states!)

kid tested (you bet), mother approved (questionable)!

download 15 songs free! (what does that taste like?) cap'n! (ahoy! should kids even be reading this?)

win kinect for xbox360! what does that mean?

do you have a headache yet?

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